i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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