My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
