Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
