so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
