How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
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