The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
