i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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