Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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