Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
