At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
