Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
