My friends, they love my intelligence
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
