i jhust puked up my retainher.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
