I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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