just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
