My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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