Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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