You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
