You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
