didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize