I'm really into asian looking animals
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm both gender and math confused
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize