I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He better not be in your backpack
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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