I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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