is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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