Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
