if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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