i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
