I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
