Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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