Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
