...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
