sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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