well you can't waste a boner
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
