I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
