She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
