I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Randomize
