just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
we should paint friendship bongs
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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