U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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