I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize