I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
