he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Randomize
