we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
