Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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