So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
