Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize