I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
