now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
