ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
