thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
