You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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