you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
