if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
