I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
