She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
