her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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