Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
