I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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