You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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