If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
