I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
