The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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