I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
