Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
