the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
