is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
do nipples grow back?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
