I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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