2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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