with your own penis?
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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