the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
