this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
