I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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