i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
how drunk are you?
Several
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize