I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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