we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Bring me that man meat
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